Career or mum - do I really have to decide?

In all my years as an HR leader, I've always seen women trying to juggle a career and motherhood. I - without children - often asked myself, ‘why do you have to have children when you are already working 150%?’ - Today, as a mother myself, I know the answer to this question very well.

Nevertheless, very few seemed to be able to combine these two issues. Most of these women worked until shortly before giving birth, were back ‘online’ three days after the birth and back at work 100% after three months at the latest. Seemingly ‘normal’ and ‘problem-free’ as it seemed to me. However, after some time (months or years), the employees became dissatisfied, their superiors complained about a drop in performance and this was often followed by a transfer or dismissal.

Of course that doesn't work either. Where would we end up if we made special solutions for mothers or fathers? But can we really do without all these valuable employees? And is it morally correct to rely on the loyalty of our employees in this matter?

In the aftermath - and unfortunately almost always in the aftermath - we realised that the company makes no distinction as to whether someone has children to look after or not. Full availability and performance are expected in such positions. On the surface, of course, we are a social and ‘pro-employee’ company. However, the ‘daily business’ looks very different, which the management usually doesn't realise.

In southern and Asian countries, it is normal for the whole family to help with childcare and education. In some countries, there are state solutions for childcare. In some countries and if you can ‘afford it’, nannies are ‘normal’. Part-time models, job-sharing and flexible working hours are familiar in some countries. However, this does not apply to every country and unfortunately not to Switzerland either.

When I became a mum, my work colleagues advised me very early on to look for a day care place. I didn't understand the rush, but I quickly realised why: day care places are a rarity. What's more, in Switzerland you have to think carefully about whether you're going to work and pay for a day care or whether it's not worth it.

If I decide in favour of a job, i.e. a career, this means that my child will be looked after 7/7 by someone else. I organise myself in the evenings and at weekends and everyone is happy. Is that really the case?

Honestly - No. It is always a compromise for both - mother and child. Sooner or later it won't fit, but there is often no alternative.

But that's not true either. Many people simply don't dare to stop and think about what suits me and my current situation. Employers also generally assume that ‘afterwards’ things will continue as ‘before’. And often times a solution is sought far too late, when the suffering on both sides is already too great and an ‘amicable separation’ is seen as the best solution. There are so many attractive working models that are win-win models for employers and employees.

That's why I clearly say ‘no’! You don't have to decide. It takes some courage, ideas and an active approach to the topic. But it's worth it!